Thursday, October 10, 2013

Philosophical rant on stay-at-home vs "work"

Someone posted this article on facebook: http://themattwalshblog.com/2013/10/09/youre-a-stay-at-home-mom-what-do-you-do-all-day/ I appreciate this so much! Being a "domestic engineer" (stay-at-home-mom) is a hard and often thankless job. He makes many valid points that are generally ignored or treated as trivial by society as a whole. However, I think that he doesn't recognize how we got to these attitudes. Women who work outside the home - at sometimes, women who do paid work inside the home - often don't want to admit that they can't do as much as a mom as women who focus on mothering full time without outside work. If we admit that, while you work, you are giving up something you could be doing at home, isn't implying that if you work you aren't as good a mother? And, if you aren't giving up something at home by going to work, is there any reason for other women not to go to work instead of staying home? Being a working mom is incredibly hard! After four years of working half time, a year and a half ago I faced the decision to work full time or quit - not just my job, but my career that I'd been working toward for over a decade. It was heart wrenching to give up the work that I truly loved, but I never for a moment doubted my decision. And so, we are faced with supporting women who work outside the home, by not adding to their guilt for the things they simply cannot do because of their work obligations, vs supporting women who stay home because they really do work too. Choice and forced circumstances aside - because regardless of the reason for working outside the home, it still impacts you and your family every day - this whole discussion comes down to respecting and supporting the work that women do everywhere, inside AND outside of their families and their homes. If the respect went both ways, we would all find our work easier.

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